The maid of honor just puked.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
