is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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