I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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