Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
