Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
