Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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