I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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