I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
