the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
