she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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