Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
