she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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