it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i came on her dog
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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