Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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