My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
