his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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