I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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