youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
