wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
