Ambien. No doubt about it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
