At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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