I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize