No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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