why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
