$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
