Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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