sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
