would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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