I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
