I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
