every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
