but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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