moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How external is "for external use only"?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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