he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So vagazzling was a success
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize