Where is the hickey?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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