im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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