Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
