why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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