im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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