I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
