He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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