I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dont even know how to be here
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We're too hungover to prance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
