It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize