i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
