I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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