i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
