hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
