I hate your face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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