I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
