if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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