When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
