I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
