we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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