Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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