he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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