forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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