I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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