Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
