I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
