Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
