she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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