Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
