just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
