I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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