My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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