I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
