This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
