I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
