and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
