Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
