Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
