Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
