my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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