Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize